Pronouns and power
Biological sex is an objective and universally-defined concept, based on the presence of one of two possible reproductive system types and manifesting patterns of anatomy that are observable in any clothed adult human who is not actively trying to conceal those patterns, specially in their faces. These patterns transcend race and culture and are universal across history and geography. For example, a Chinese person in 2022 can look at a picture of an adult British person from 1827, who was not actively trying to conceal these patterns, and accurately identify their biological sex.
This illustration showcases AI-generated renders of the average faces of men and women by geographical location. Notably, regardless of culture, race, and ethnicity, it is easy to discern the biological sex of each individual depicted. In contrast, gender identity is often subjectively defined in circular, self-referencing ways, and does not provide a clear understanding of what it actually is, blurring the lines between a soul, a neurological process, or an aspect of personality. The patterns of various gender identities are dependent on culture and time period and are not universal across history or geography. For example, an Argentine person in 2022 cannot determine the gender identity of an adult two-spirit Navajo person from 1847 by looking at a picture.
What is the gender identity of the individuals in this picture? It is not possible to determine without explicit knowledge of their gender identity or information on the cultural and fashion cues they may be presenting. Even with this knowledge, one may still be mistaken. Therefore, while biological sex is an objectively and universally defined concept, gender identity is not. Consequently, it makes sense to use language aspects such as pronouns, based on biological sex, not gender identity.
I base my use of pronouns on biological sex. If someone requests that I use different pronouns when referring to them, I will not refer to them in a way that they are uncomfortable with, but I also reserve the right to use words that align with my own comfort level. If someone introduces themselves with their pronouns, it is not an indication of how they would like to be referred to during the current conversation, as second-person pronouns will be used regardless. What is being requested is for the person to be perceived in a certain way, which can be perceived as a power move.
Pronouns and names are both ways of referring to a person, but they serve different purposes. A name is a label that is used to identify a person, usually given at birth or chosen later in life. A pronoun is a word that is used to refer to a person in place of their name. For example, instead of saying "Jane is a doctor," one could say "She is a doctor." Pronouns are used to make language more efficient and less repetitive. Some languages adopt those to reflect a person's biological sex. Sure, one may have preferred pronouns, but that does not give them the right to demand that others refer to them using those. The same goes for preferred adjectives such as "beautiful" or "intelligent," or preferred adverbs to describe their actions such as "kind" or "just." It is not the responsibility of others to validate these preferences, especially if they go against observable and objective reality.